Dear Ma Navin,

Sharing my reading experience.

Leekaat reading experience – Speed transforming into art

I deliberately thought of writing my reading experience after couple of days, finishing the book. I wanted to see myself, which aspects of the novel my inner mind keeps contemplating.

What Rathna aunty does, is something I couldn’t accept at a superficial level but the inner depth of my psyche tells this happens, it’s possible. Though this is the layer which is the most subtle part of the text, I don’t have clarity of thoughts to express what it does to me. It disturbs me, but I don’t know why. I realise that I know very little of this side of the human nature.

Deepan’s uncle transformation from being a person, who supports his community to a typical business person is soulfully portrayed. When he says “How was I..see how I became, I was thinking about everyone. I ran for everyone. Now, I think about only myself. I gave all when I had nothing, now when I run a restaurant, I don’t give even to a crow”. While I wanted to succeed in something I have failed myself”. This an opening for me. I’m almost in a situation like his uncle, hope I don’t become one. This is exactly the relevance which keeps me reading serious literature. The uncle says, “where shall I find that good one, I don’t have the capacity to find him anymore, I’m afraid of the search”. This is a point, anyone who involves deeply into material life can end up, hope I retain the moral courage to be not in this situation irrespective of whatever life has for me.

I know with experience, that books that I must read comes to me at the right time. For the past few months, I was experiencing the similar emotional state of Deepan, Where his teacher says, speed alone is not enough, it should become art. At the intense phase of life I’m in, something that was a missing link, has been shown to me by the novel. Often, I feel like my entire body and soul burning, now I realise what must be done. The back cover of the book is close to my heart, though I’m doing engineering research I feel the same. I feel that I’m being trapped and only when I do my work or write, I get relieved. This emotional space can never be narrated or empathised by a person outside the creative world. I only write, when I’m so emotive and if and only if writing is the way out. Even then, I end up writing only some paragraphs. I feel stunned when I imagine the intensity inside you, to write such a creative work. The untold suffering it takes before writing the work.

Recently, I saw a small shop in the highways, which has been abandoned. It is enclosed by greens leafs in all sides, reminded me of what Deepan’s mother says in page 26. These are instances where we start seeing the world around us through the lens given by our reading.

How deepan’s character and perception transformed is beautifully portrayed. The instance when his uncle says, one can’t become a man by throwing the Thooki, one must work hard/strive to become a man. Once the reading is completed, we can see how deepan attains this state at one dimension, as he masters working in the restaurant. At the same time, when we look at a deeper spiritual level, deepan’s energy never seems to be channelised, from his letter to what he did to his grand daughter. This is again something, where a writer, just sees the humans as they are. The elevation at which he sees, and the depth he goes into the psyche of humans is really what makes a work magnificent. These are moments when we witness the writer sees with eagle’s eye view of the world at the same time with a surgical knife dissects deep into the human psyche.

When Deepan realises, speaks with his inner soul, “Everything became meaningless within a minute. What did I search for? What did I found? I understand nothing of this. What I won, What I have lost, I understand nothing. One feels, the mental state, maybe more profound than his uncle, the emptiness his uncle feels when Vicchu leaves him.

Only the energy channelised in a form attains the magnificence. The teacher’s advice to Deepan is an important realisation for me at the phase of life I’m in.

Leekaat has shown with all its intensity has spoken with my inner beast which I have frozen myself. It demands the inner beast to tear apart everything that holds it. Let the speed transforms into art!

Warm Regards,

Vasanth.